Conspiring Love
by Nosfrat
Summary: Samuel and Misty hate each other. Or so they think. But when she pushes him over the edge and he finally snaps, he realizes that losing her is not what he wants. At all. Little love / hate One-Shot that was in my mind since the first time I played the game. Lots of references to the actual game, parody style. Rated T for very mild sexual references, violence / gore and language.


**_A/N: Since I first played this game, I wanted to write something about those two. To me, Misty and Samuel are the typical "love-hate" couple, they both wanna fuck the shit out of each other only they don't know it yet, though in my head Misty's definitely against the idea, while Samuel is just afraid of taking action._**  
**_I don't know but I always loved the idea of two persons hating each other, only to eventually realize it was actually love and / or sexual tension. Oh well, I hope this doesn't turn out too bad, and that there's not too much OOCness. I tried to include as many quotes and references to the actual game as I could, and though some things aren't accurate I don't think I did a bad job at it._**  
**_I don't always state who's talking but it should be fairly obvious, at least if you know the game._**

**_Sorry for any spelling or grammatical error, English is not my main language. Same goes with the rather poor vocabulary, I hope it doesn't hinder the "experience" for you readers._**

**_And I just HATE that fucking automatic driver._**

**_P.S.: For anyone who still didn't understand, this story obviously happens during the events of the TranZit zombies map in Black Ops II.  
_**

* * *

"Oh no, I'm out of ammo! If only a big, smelly idiot would protect me!"  
"Conspiracies... Did you drink water lately? You know, they put something in the water... The games... get it? Ah hell, take this."

Samuel Stuhlinger threw Misty a fully loaded Type 25 assault rifle. Instead of answering, she strapped her empty MP5 to her back, and equipped her newly acquired weapon before dropping down into a very bright area. He soon followed, while Russman and Marlton were securing the perimeter with their freshly bought AK74u's. Marlton was ranting about the fact that this weapon does not exist in real life until Russman flashed his holstered Ray Gun to his face, which shut him up.

It was pretty quiet up there, though they were wondering when a fight was finally gonna break out between Samuel and Misty, who hated each other far more than it was acceptable to hate someone during times where co-operation was the first priority.

Misty grabbed what seemed to be a severed zombie hand. She put it down on a work bench and started pounding it with an invisible hammer, all of this without even moving her hands. She then picked up a handle and repeated the same process.

"Heh, I bet that idiot Stuhlicker couldn't do this."

Samuel could feel rage building up inside of him a little more every time his female zombie slaying partner opened her mouth. No matter what, she was always belittling and insulting him. He kept pretending that he didn't care, or that he simply hated her back, but deep inside, he knew that his patience would only last for so long, and that he would eventually snap.

He didn't know why she hated him so much, and that pissed him off all the more.

* * *

After a few minutes, a loud rumbling was heard above ground.

"Wow, what the hell's goin' on?"  
"This sounds rather odd."  
"Maybe we should go check it out?"

Their conversation was interrupted by gunfire coming from a structure above the ground.

"Now you're just making me hungry!" yelled Samuel as he dropped a few zombies with a single blast from his Remington 870 MCS.  
He jump back down to ground level, followed by Misty who had some wires strapped to her belt, and they all regrouped in front of the bus.

"Alright I think the power's back on." stated Samuel proudly.  
"So uh, what's the next stop?" asked Russman.  
"If my calculations are correct, it-"  
"Fuck you Darlington, no one wants to hear your calculations. Let's just go and see for ourselves."

Misty and Marlton glared at the elderly Afro-American, while Samuel nodded. After stepping into the bus and taking their usual defensive positions, the annoying robotic driver started his endless speech and eventually the bus was off to its next destination.

* * *

Even Marlton couldn't quite understand how the roof of a bus could simply generate a weapon and endless ammunition for it but none of them were ready to complain about it.

As Misty unleashed yet another burst from her pistol at a zombie trying to climb in through the broken windshield, one stray bullet hit the driver.

"Please display courtesy to the automatic driver." said a rather annoyed T.E.D.D. to the girl, who was even more annoyed than "him".  
"Do we really need this bus to go around? I'm sick of this robot driver thingy."  
"It is unsafe to distract the driver while the bus is-"  
"And how safe is this?" she asked, smirking, as she unloaded a full Type 25 mag into the robot's "body", which sparkled violently before shutting down, bringing the bus to a slow stop.

"Oh, great. Great job, Abigail."  
"Shut up Stu, you're too scared to go for a walk in the fog?"  
"No, I'm just-"  
"Then behave like a real man and get out!"

Marlton sighed and Russman scratched his balls, but they all stepped out of the bus and started walking toward whatever seemed to be their next stop. They could make out the faint outlines of a church, and what appeared to be street lights.

"I wonder if this place-" Russman was cut short by a Denizen latching onto his head and starting to claw his eyes out. It exploded in a cloud of yellow-ish mist after a quick blast from Samuel's shotgun.  
"What the hell was that?"  
"Conspiracy. I know all about those things, I read about how they plan out everything."  
Misty frowned, the others shrugged.

* * *

After continuing to walk for a few minutes, Russman killed another Denizen.

"If I wanted to die, I'd have jumped off a cliff!" said a rather scared Marlton.  
"It ain't too late for that." Russman smiled, pointing out a cliff nearby.  
"I do not wish to engage in physical activity with elderly Afro-American males."  
"And what's that supposed to mean?"  
"This, is supposed to mean that... Wait, where are they?"  
"Where's who?"  
As they both turned around, they noticed that Misty and Samuel were gone.

* * *

A Denizen raised from the ground and hurled itself toward Misty, who swiftly pulled out her combat knife.  
"Hey, Stuhlinger, it's your lucky day! You get to watch me use a knife!"

Samuel was on the edge of sanity, he was fighting hard the urge to simply shoot her. He tried to sound as calm as he could possibly manage to sound.

"Misty, I don't care about you using a knife."

He knew he couldn't take it anymore. He'd snap at any second now.  
Still focused on the Denizen who was flying toward her in slow-motion, à la Matrix, she kept doing what she did best: teasing him. Or at least she thought she was...

"Hm. Is that smell you? Because I can't quite see you but I can still smell-"

She was interrupted by a sharp pain in her back, which was the only thing she remembered before her entire body fell limp to the ground. Samuel was standing behind her, holding his boomstick by the barrel, a grin of satisfaction mixed with anger and guilt on his face. Quickly twisting his weapon around, he blasted the Denizen who had now switched targets.

"I didn't clearly tell you to stop treating me like shit, but I thought you'd know when to stop... But no, always insulting me, always making me feel like I'm just dragging everyone down! You're not better than anyone else! Who the fuck do you think you are anyway? Stupid slut. I shouldn't feel anything for you but spite."

* * *

Another Denizen was coming for Marlton and Russman who, after dispatching it, decided on a "fuck everything and run" strategy, leaving their teammates behind. After a long sprint, they arrived to what appeared to be a small town, with a bar, a few run down shops and a bank nearby. The ground was littered with lava and fire, and two perk machines were lying around. After a short argument they both agreed on staying here until the zombie hordes had died down so they could go and look for their lost partners.

* * *

Samuel was looking at his unconscious "friend", wondering if he did the right thing knocking her out.  
"Of course you did, stupid bitch deserved it." was screaming his dark, angry side.  
"She probably has her reasons to act the way she does toward you, and you have to co-operate with her if you want to live!" was saying his normal, soft side.  
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of thunder rolling right above him, and a quick flash in the fog, that seemed to be really close, no further than ten meters away from him.  
A small orb of electricity was hovering above the ground, and eventually materialized as a human-shaped lightning bolt. Aiming its hands a Misty, it unleashed a powerful beam of electricity that struck her body, which started jerking violently.

As much as he hated to admit it, Samuel felt heartbroken at the sight of Misty's helpless and lifeless body being attacked. Remembering something Marlton said when he got some weird grenade-shaped device off the box, he reached for one of the EMP grenades strapped to his belt, and threw one at the electric entity. After it detonated, the Avogadro started spinning in circles and eventually flew back into the dark, cloudy sky.

"Damn it... I knew it was all part of their master plan." said Samuel as he wiped some sweat off his forehead.  
Feeling remorse taking over, he picked up Misty's body bridal style and started walking toward the faint lights. After a few dozen meters, he arrived in front of a wooden cabin, with small flames erupting from the ground here and there.

He almost let Misty fall on the ground.  
"Aw, shit. She's heavier than two LMG's. Anyone? Hello? Don't leave me here alone!"

Reluctantly, he entered the cabin, where he found a 3-feet long combat knife and some little things, seemingly some sort of gauges, to count RPM and temperature. He laid Misty on the ground, and equipped his newly acquired Bowie knife, adopting a combat stance, ready to slash to bits anything that came into view.

* * *

"Hey old man, do you think they are okay?"  
"Hell if I know about Misty, but I'm pretty sure Stu is doing fine on his own."  
"And what makes you say that?"  
"He's paranoid, so he has to be overprepared for everything. I think. I don't know. Getting old sucks."  
"Well, paranoia is a mental condition that-"  
Russman jumped off their camping spot on the second floor of a run down bar and started shooting at anything in sight (mostly walls and lava pools) to drown out the annoying sound of Marlton's voice going in-depth into shit nobody cares about.

* * *

After a few minutes, Samuel found that zombies had given up on assaulting his little shack, at least for now. Regaining his composure, he kneeled down near Misty and laid his shotgun on the ground.  
"Abigail... Why do you hate me so much? Are you working for them? Is that part of something I don't know about yet? I know you can't hear me but if only you could... I don't want you to hate me, I don't want to hate you, in fact I..."

He was cut short by the voices in his head.

"Vat are you still doing here, talking to zat dead voman, schweinhund? Get to vork, build zat jet engine I told you about before Maxis kills you all!"  
"She isn't dead! She's not fucking dead!"  
"Vatever, living vomen are just as uninteresting as dead ones. Even more so since all zey do is playing games... But zis is no game, zis is a serious matter. You have to finish vat ve started, ja? Do it now, or ve vill all DIE! Scheiße, I don't vant to die. I don't even have my good shoes."  
"Leave me alone! Whoever you are, leave me alone! Your conspiracies won't affect me! I know all about everything."  
"You do not know anything yet... but you vill learn, American. You vill learn."  
"What are you talking about?"

No answer came. After Richtofen's "radio silence", a giant horde of zombies rushed toward Samuel's hiding place. His shotgun was out of reach and he had only a few seconds before getting swarmed. His only available weapon was his Bowie knife, which he brought up above his head like a sword, doing his best not to shake too much.

"Come on, try me you gut gobblers! I'm gonna show you how unnarmed combat is supposed to go down! I won't let them do anything to you, Misty! And you didn't think Samuel J. Stuhlinger could get any louder?"

With a feral scream, he slashed through the first row of zombies, decapitating three of them and severing a few limbs. He quickly stabbed the other two undead corpses, before withdrawing his blade and turning around, slashing more meat. Swinging his knife as fast as he could in every possible direction, he was managing to hold off the incoming hordes now pouring in the cabin from everywhere.  
Misty groaned and her eyes opened slowly, everything seemed blurry. A silhouette was moving really fast, fighting other silhouettes. She tried to sit up, but her entire body was numb. She just laid there, trying to figure out where she was and what was going on.

"You want more uh? Come get some!" yelled Samuel as he slashed through yet another group of zombies. He was covered in blood and guts but he didn't seem to mind at all, he was relieving his mental pain and anger through his killing frenzy.  
Still struggling to make out of her surroundings, Misty tried to scramble to her feet only to get knocked back down by a random zombie, strangely ignoring her like all other zombies.

"Killing is my business, and business is good!"  
Samuel kicked the zombie in the face, sending its head roll a few meters away. Caught in his momentum, he tripped and fell right on top of Misty, who he had almost forgotten was laying on the ground behind him. As much as he'd have wanted to stay in that position, her eyes wide open made him shiver and the proximity of his shotgun called for a higher priority. He scrambled to his feet, pumped his Remington with one hand while punching a few zombies back with the other, and unleashed a fury of pellets into the slowly dying hordes. A dozen blasts and few knife slashes later, he grabbed the very last zombie by the neck and fucking smashed the shit out of its face against the wall, splattering brains, blood and other bodily fluids everywhere in a loud, squishy mess.

"Samuel sends you the bill!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, enjoying the last bit of his adrenaline rush. A soft voice emanated from behind him.  
"I was six times knife fight champion... but that's only because I didn't have to face you."  
"What? Oh? Hey... Yeah, I mean, yeah I'm good, stupid bimbo."  
"Were you fighting like that... for me?"  
"Uh... Yeah... What? No! Wait, no! No way! I mean, yes, maybe, but only to prove you I was just as good of a fighter as you were! If not better!"  
"I love it when you're angry."

Samuel didn't answer. He didn't know what to think anymore. Was she toying with him, teasing him? Was making him angry turning her on somehow? Which would mean, he actually turned -someone- on? Nah, he knew better than to believe in that shit. He knew what they were up to. What was really going on. He had no time for trivial things like women and... Fuck. When was the last time he actually had a woman in his life? Hell, when was the last time his life was made up of something else than running away from and fighting the dead?  
Lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice the girl who tormented him so much crawling up to him, and cuddling against him.

"You did vell, my friend! Your skills vith a knife are remarkable! But now's not ze time for love. You must get to ze town and find your other deaf friends! Zey need you!"  
"For love? But..."

Unaware of Richtofen's existence, Misty gave him a puzzled look.

"For love?"

Unaware of Misty's proximity, at least until now, Samuel returned her look.

"Misty?"

The next thing they gave and returned was a kiss. A heated, passionate, loud one.

"Well, would you listen to that?"  
"Odd, I've never heard that before..."

Marlton and Russman were standing right outside the small wooden shack, looking as though they had just seen an eerie green flash popping up out of nowhere.

"I told you, even that fog wasn't as thick as the sexual tension between those two." said Russman casually.  
"As much as it pains me to admit, it looks like you were right about Stuhlinger being more than capable of surviving on his own." said Marlton, a bit annoyed.

They broke the kiss, startled by the sudden arrival of their teammates.

"The bimbo helped me a lot... Without wanting to, but she did." admitted Samuel, still shaking from the kiss.  
"You're the one who knocked me out in the first place... Did that turn you on?" she asked playfully, with a smutty grin on her face.  
"I'm not sure if that yellow drink thingy really allows me to run faster but I sure as hell intend on finding out right now." said Russman as he dashed out of the cabin, his stomach turning upside down at the idea of Samuel and Misty engaging in BDSM stuff.  
"Russman, I hope you get eaten by the fog..."

The trio made their way back to the town, where the elderly black man was waiting, sitting on a chair at the bar, cleaning up his AK74u.  
"This weapon is really-" started Marlton.  
"Darlington, not your shit again! I told you, I don't care, it shoots bullets and that's all that matters to me."  
"Well, my weapon is superior in all fashions, anyway."

A little further in a corner, Misty was setting down on a workbench the wires she had been carrying since the power station. Samuel put down the two gauges he picked up earlier.  
"I saw a jet engine in the tunnel we passed earlier... Assuming we find our way back to the depot, you think I can build something, even though there's a slut around watching me if I screw it up?"  
"No way, you stupid jerk."

And they began kissing again, two pairs of annoyed eyes watching them.

"Touchin' me? Nah, she ain't touchin' me."  
"Russman, why don't you run into the storm and see if you can measure the giggowattage?"  
"Don't mess with the Russ."

And they began fighting again, two pairs of amused eyes watching them.


End file.
